2022.01.22 02:21 beaver_boi66 My life should be perfect but its not.
Sorry if this seems disorderly, I was in a rush and I've never been a good writer.
I was born a white man in Canada and got exceptional grades from kindergarten to this day. I was always considered gifted and was used as a model student. My father is a homeowner and always has enough money to buy nearly whatever I'd like. Many people have predicted i would be the next Bezos or Musk. When you ignore all social aspects, my life seems like its near perfect.
I am the only child of a single parent and even we have started to distance. From kindergarten to grade 3 I did not say a word to any of my classmates(excluding my cousin) and only spoke to teachers in private. Everybody said i would grow out of it and i did, but it definitely never left completely. From grade 4-6 I actually talked to people my age and did make a few friends. Apart from that everything was basically the same. In grade 7 the pandemic was in full effect and we were constantly masked, sanitized, cohorted etc. and i was glad. This was around the same time i realized that i was hideous. I'm not talking about a bad hair cut or bad posture. I'm talking about unfixable or very hard to fix physical features that people across multiple cultures would consider unattractive. No chin, uniquely pale skin, uniquely hairy and much more. Wearing a mask was a massive relief. Before this point i would actively try to make new friends and get involved with whatever activities i could. I slowly became less and less social(not that it made a difference in outcome) until i basically ceased talking to anyone but a handful of "friends" by the end of grade 8. I say friends in quotations because we would be considered acquaintances by most other people. They were either people just as bad me trying to find someone to talk to or more social people who would talk to me only if i were the only person in the room with him. I should also mention that i have a speech impediment. Like the hideousness i never cared or even noticed much until people started pointing it out.
I do not care about other peoples opinions of me yet every action seems to be determined by it. When asked a simple question I freeze up against my own will and don't answer only to embarrass myself. I spend most nights searching for advice and guidance on basic social situations that other people just knew out the womb. Despite this it seems like things have only gotten worse. I hate to say this at such a young age but it almost seems hopeless. The only future i can realistically imagine for myself is living in the woods as a subsistence farmer with the rats in the floorboards my only company.
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2022.01.22 02:21 BrainyGuardian Skeletor Fact
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2022.01.22 02:21 Apprehensive-Rip-312 What's up with the Twitter account
2022.01.22 02:21 itsbeenawhiletoolong Manager using all my PTO
I’ve been with my company for a little over a year now.
If I call out of work for anything; migraine, covid symptoms, immigration, they take a day’s worth of PTO (8 hours)
As of now, I have roughly 24 hours of PTO. I want to take off two days to rest. I have this dumb skin condition that gives me these painful red nodules on my legs once a blue moon. If I don’t take a ton of Advil, it hurts to walk/sit. It is related to stress, so I figure two days off would at least help so my body can rest.
I need to know how I can take these days off without losing my PTO, as I’d like to use that on a small holiday.
FYI: I’m in Florida & I have the 3rd most cars out in the store.
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2022.01.22 02:21 Mnim_man Not sure why I am not receiving any eth from my mining yet,
I started mining a day ago with a 3060ti and use hiveOS. When I checked my balance it said I had nothing even though I’m getting a steady 45mh. What do you think the problem is?
Pool - ethermine Miner - t-rex miner
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2022.01.22 02:21 HMend Winter biking and Covid?
Soliciting experiences of other bike commuters. I finally caught Covid after two years of being an essential worker and biking all year round. I had it in December, recovered and relapsed. I've noticed that even my 3 mile commute really messes up my respiratory system even though I'm technically over it. The cold never bothered me before. I'm always masked and bundled up. But it kicks my ass now. Lingering cough gets worse. Sinuses get inflamed. Any other winter bikers noticed post covid trouble? Am I one of those sickly people now? Jeez.
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2022.01.22 02:21 Immediate-Income-393 After tamil nadu lavanya incident. What do you have to say about this jihadi incident??
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2022.01.22 02:21 TheCamiloCano All I know is this is healthy with milk.
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2022.01.22 02:21 Stunning-Foot8586 Is Gearchase.com legit?
2022.01.22 02:21 Draconis2292 Hmm
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2022.01.22 02:21 Leifman2007 I found this song and think it’s quite a soothing one I recommend it
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2022.01.22 02:21 kchackman What’s something you’ve noticed about women, in general, that you do think we even realize?
2022.01.22 02:21 neurotic-proxy Growing Porn/sex addiction and sexual incompatibility caused by depression
So around age 23, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety with dissociative features. I never had a real relationship or sexual experiences until age 26 when my meds finally started to help me live life. One of the non-medication options that have always grounded me was masturbation. It’s an option but lol it helped me. As someone who dissociates a lot masturbation is relief since it literally grounds. The unhealthy addition to this however is porn. In a away it grounds me too. As such I used it for so long that I really just consider it a coping mechanism.
However when I started dating at 26, sex became a healthier option to porn/masturbation. And the fact that another person (my gf) is involved it helps to ground me even more. The physical touch, the embracing, the rhythmic pacing (since when I’m anxious my mind is fleeting) all just grounds me for a time being.
The problem is that I’m too reliant on it to ward off my metal ailments. My gf doesn’t have a high sex drive as I do. A year into our r’ship, and we aren’t having that much sex. Average once a week. My depression etc is high right now because it’s winter. And while I’ve brought this up with my gf I don’t want her to feel like she must alter her drive to match mine.
There are nights when I feel like I have to fight back tears because I want to feel grounded but I don’t want to bother my gf for sex when she’s not up for it. Also, what’s even more nerve racking is that sex in away has become like an antidepressant than an activity of love. My gf and I will be long distance (5hrs away) soon and sometimes I’m scared. I’m not that far gone but I’m heading there. I’m scared that our sexual incompatibility will be made worse. My therapist has worked with me to strengthen more healthy grounding like yoga etc. but I’ve been using sex for so long that I wonder if i SHOULD be used as an antidepressant and not only as a once a week love making session. Idk
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2022.01.22 02:21 TheClownFromIt Craigslist network rack - opinions wanted
I’m planning on centralizing my networking gear (Unifi UDM Pro, Unifi switch, 1U patch panel, Synology NAS, small desktop server, Ring alarm bridge, Hue bridge, a couple Raspberry Pi’s) and I found a used 15U rack on Craigslist. Here’s the Amazon page for it:
The seller is asking for $100. Does it seem like a good choice if I’m not planning on adding any seriously deep hardware? I’ll probably just place it in our “utility room” that’s basically just a storage area. The door seemed nice for hiding things away and I don’t feel like I have to dedicate as much time to beautifying the hardware inside to look tidy. Curious if anyone has dealt with NavePoint or had any advice or caveats around buying a rack.
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2022.01.22 02:21 Pilfered HHKB BT
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2022.01.22 02:20 BASIL222222 Should I swap to buddha if I find it?
I'm in the first world and I'm level 311 now. I've been using light but I've seen alot about people saying how good buddha is so if I get it should I use it?
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2022.01.22 02:20 ParaSight2001 any tips on making this arrangement better at all ?
| this is the current layout of my bedroom and im looking to move some stuff around any thoughts on moving stuff around ? |
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2022.01.22 02:20 TigRigTorren Exodus and Bad Mode
I've briefly looked over a few comments in this sub comparing Bad Mode to Exodus, stating that the latter influenced the former. This confuses me. Exodus was a very strange album to me. Nearly every song I disliked. Bad Mode however, I loved. My confusion is how could I like Bad Mode when I do not like Exodus if the earlier album influenced the later one? What confuses me even more is that some people seem to hate This Is The One, which is one of my favorites. Some think that TITO is the worst of Utada's albums and I don't understand that. What's wrong with it? Exodus is the worst to me but now I'm thinking I should listen to it again. Even moreso, I am curious about how people feel about all the albums and how they compete with each other. I listened to Exodus once, did not enjoy, and avoided listening again. I'm curious about these things because I'm discovering a new side of the Utada's fandom, which seems to be a near exact opposite of how I would describe my fandom.
I've been listening to Utada for years. Introduced to them by Kingdom Hearts over 20 years ago, became a fan perhaps 10 years ago, and delved into their entire discography around 6 years ago. They are my favorite recording artist.
I am just really interested in why there is such a dichotomy in the way people feel about Utada's music. We are all hearing the same songs, right?
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2022.01.22 02:20 Ok_Arachnid2005 Jasper mall
Tonite I saw some Netflix doc called jasper mall about some old run down mall in a half abandoned state. It's too bad that disconscious or ________________ or ______________ weren't utilized for the background music.
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2022.01.22 02:20 DangerousMacaron4057 Ok but like..do people seriously relate to fictional characters?
Like..I can name more video game reviewers I relate to than fictional characters.When I'm watching something I'm thinking like "Realistic goals,nice character arc,etc",not "This character is so relatable.I kin them".
Like the concept of this is so foreign to me.
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2022.01.22 02:20 Dardi25 Nothing sussy just dancing dog
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2022.01.22 02:20 planetorganicindia Almond
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2022.01.22 02:20 bigman_121 With too many characters what is the real focus
I just want them to conclude a story line for once is it too hard to ask for.
Why do we have so many plot points going no where or just forgotten, because they either wrote themselves into a corner and said let's focus on this now, like what happened to Brion Markov and his island? is that ever going to conclude? with him being the King and manipulated? are they ever going to come back to that?
Dark Mary tease is cool, but we will probably never see her again because it will be forgotten, what happened to Shazam himself?
What about Halo is she ever coming back?
Are the og team going to get together again? Other than the opening credits.
What about the people from the future are they going to be an actual plot point ever again? like what did they want? cause superboy is stuck in time so they clearly don't want him? did they want to make Gar depressed because that how they get there kicks? I don't know and neither will you because we will never see them again.
Does the light actually have a plan or are the writers just like leave it vague and mysterious and we will come up with something later. I can see why the Joker left the light way to vague even for him
Is the definitely not Jason Todd /s even going to be seen again?
Hey remember they showed how the OG team grieving Wally in different ways well just Artemis and Dick but now we got depressed Gar, because seeing his family killed by killer Bee wasn't enough.
Getting to Artemis and Wally remember how Zatana lied to Artemis in the "dream world" episode but teased that she couldn't find his ghost and just left it at that.
Hey remember when black canary was a psychiatrist apparently she doesn't care enough about Gar to see him for some reason 🤷
Don't get me wrong the writing is great I just wish we have a end goal.
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2022.01.22 02:20 Local_Echo6187 Question
2022.01.22 02:20 Wine-through-veins 500 shades of Cab…
Hi, colleagues! I finally got my first US job as a somm. And… feel totally lost and confused with countless Californian Cabernets.
Any suggestions, what to read about them?
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